Beginnings!

Yesterday I packaged seeds from some heirloom tomatoes.  Tomato seeds have to be fermented first to get rid of the gel sack surrounding them. 

Likewise, my own gel sack of nervousness must be done away with because today is the first day of school!  I have already been to school though, 7 on-and-off years of it, much of which I made a royal mess of.  So now is my chance to do things right.  The end goal: to be a librarian or archivist, and to have been a damn good student during the process.  I’m 30 years old and finally ready to own my decisions.  No parent or other sort of bully has forced me into this education, I did it on my own.

(That sounded like more of a condemnation than it was.  Truth is, I’ve always been a bit of a pushover, letting the desires of others dictate my decisions.  I’ve swallowed their wills, tried to incorporate them as my own, and thus neither succeeded very well or formed much of a will of my own.  And… my history also comes with some very strong-willed characters.)

A parallel metamorphosis to grabbing life by the balls has also shown itself to be a 180 degree shift in time perspective.  I’ve focused so much on the past, almost only on the past, and now I find myself looking forward.  I’m interested in creating, as well as is possible (which maybe isn’t very well) life experiences that are to come.  

The timeframe for all this is a little unclear, but it sure is serendipitous, what with starting school over again, wanting to have kids etc.   Or wait, maybe that’s just part of growing up.  I’ve already noticed I am miraculously slow at that; I even look a lot younger than my age.  ANYWAYS, although the time frame is unclear, I know exactly when I was conscious of this change in perspective, and that was on August 30th, sometime in the morning, when I saw this lil ditty: 

In other news, last night me and my man were talking about the dent that some people have above their ass crack.  We discovered that it is called the coccyx, and when doing an image search (uhhh, yes, i wanted to see pictures of other people’s coccyxi.  Or cocci?) the only real picture of a coccyx was on a cadaver.  In fact, it was on the cadaver of an adult male with the knees pulled up so the body was closest to, let’s say: a diaper changing position.  

With all respect to the kind and rational man who decided to donate his body to science after death, I am really glad I am not a doctor.  I wonder if that donation also included a provision which allowed photos of his cadaver to be google-able?  I guess there probably is a wide world of cadaver pictures to be found from the comfort of one’s home, now that I think about it, but I don’t think I will ever EVER get that image out of my head.